Dear Prudence,

I met the woman I thought I’d spend my life with, and we were together for four years. As we got older and her extended family died and we started talking about kids, she became much more religious. Her religion passes through the maternal line, and so she says it’s very important for her as part of the family. She eventually gave me an ultimatum: Convert or break up. I love her, but I’m an atheist and the best I would be able to do is lie my way through, which is a bad foundation for marriage. We broke up and it’s been two years, but I still miss her. Recently she reached out and said she’d changed her mind and wants to try again, and I don’t have to convert. I don’t even know how to start thinking about this. What should I do?

—Second Time Is or Isn’t a Charm

Dear Second Time,

There’s obviously something special between the two of you. Give it another try. For six months. Use this time to hear about what’s changed with her relationship to her religion, and whether she could truly be happy with someone who didn’t convert. And do your own check-in about whether you feel as excited about her as you once did, and whether you can trust her not to make any more major life changes that result in her saying “Do what I want or it’s over.”